Ancestor Stones Women

It still amazes me the lack of respect for women from others and the lack of respect women have for themselves. While finishing the last sections of the book Ancestor Stones the letters written by these women made me angry and repulsed. These women who I held in high reguard until these chapters were giving themselves to men who had no respect or even a care for them. They were selling themselves short, settling for the first man who came along and litterally swept them off their feet and shoved them into their homes like servants. Not once did they complain or protest or even cry they just did as they were told and became women servants to a man. It disgusted me that they would just lay night after night waiting for their pig of a husband to come and get them preganant so they could be left alone to bear children. One quote in particular that put the woman's situation in perspective was from Hawa,

"I can't say I either liked him or disliked him. I was prepared to live with him. To accept my fate for what it was. But always he wanted something more. My fate was no longer in my own hands (180)."

Later she dug the nail in deeper by stating this sad passage,

"And though I didn't encourage my husband I fufilled my duties. I bore him three children. All boys. I lost two more. They were girls and might have grown up to help me around the house. But there it is. Nothing to be done. What more could any man ask for? Each time my belly swelled, he would kneel, press his cheek against it and close his eyes (180)."

Another part of Hawa's story that made me cringe was when she went back to the city to find the doctor who tied her tubes. Not only did it show her desperation for a man, but it also showed how little respect men had for women. This doctor had tied her tubes without even telling her! They just went in and snip snip.

"Still I persisted. You see, I had come to that city for a reason. I had to find the doctor, the one who had tied my tubes. To ask him if he might undo what he had done, so that I could bear children again. It was the only thing I could think of to stop Zainab from replacing me (198)."

Although I particularly enjoyed the story Asana told about her threatening her husband while he slept.

""Osman" I said. "Wake up and see. See what I have for you!" I groped the floor until my fingers closed around the handle of the knife. I held it up, allowing the blade to glow in the silver light. I put my lips very close to his ear, brushing the lobe. I made my voice gentle, coaxing. Osman's eyes opened. I put the blade up under his chin: the tip made a soft indentation in the flesh, "You see what can happen, Osman? So strong but what good do your muscles do you now?" I felt his body slowly stiffen (118)."

She woke him from his sleep just enough to where he was listening but not registering and threatened his life!. I laughed so hard at this part she became my favorite character. Finally a woman was standing up for herself. She could have been more direct about it, but this worked too. And after this small threat her husband did in fact leave her alone for the most part.

"From that night and for the remainder of my pregenancy Osman never touched me again. I congratulated myself heartily on my cunning. I lay back on my bed...(120)."

It enraged me the lack of respect for these women. Yes, it is their culture, but the women do not even have resepct for themselves, so asking for some from others isn't worth it.